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Finding The Courage

Updated: Jun 16, 2021

I never thought that I would be in the position that I am in today. Not because it is nothing that I never thought would happen, I just did not know when. For the most part I have always had a plan for my life and a clear direction in the things that I wanted to do. Once I accomplished all those goals, I was left asking myself now what? I am a 37-year-old black woman in America. I am a college graduate. I am married with children, and I own my home and business. My husband and I both have bachelor’s degrees and we have made great progress in our careers. We never saw this growing up. Sometimes I feel a little lost and I do not know which way to go. I never thought about my life past 35! Now God willing I’m trying to plan out the next 35 years of my life! It is a whole new book forget chapters! All our grandparents are gone there are not any elders in my life that I can turn to for advice. I have had to really dig deep into my spiritual self this go round and fully seek God and pray about his plan for my life. Even though I know what I desire sometimes it does not always align with what my true purpose is. I am still a work in progress, and I ask God every day to lead me. Whatever my purpose is I know that it is to be of service to the people.

Prior to the pandemic I was working full time as Creative Director at Mary Dewalt Design Group. I spent 6 years with the company, and I finally reached the highest of my highs. I spent 2 hours of my day commuting to work and I could not take it anymore. I was tired of not overseeing my life and my schedule. I spent most of my days sitting at the computer killing my back doing presentation after presentation. I missed out on everything being at work. I worked on projects that I did not receive any credit for. It was a little depressing after a while. I felt like I was being overworked and under paid for what I thought I was worth.

I recently read an article about the racial wealth gap, and it was specifically showing the financial wealth between black and white women. Reading that article was eye opening on so many levels. Like seriously why I am I even working myself to death! That made me feel even more sick and tired of the rat race.

"Compared to both white and Hispanic women, Black women marry later in life, are less likely to marry at all, and have higher rates of marital instability," a 2015 study posted to the National Institutes of Health library finds.

"Wealth differences among white and Black women persist despite type of family structure, marriage, age, or education," the DuBois Cook Center's study finds, tracking data from the Panel Study of Income Dynamics.

"In fact, single white women with kids have the same amount of wealth as single Black women without kids."

"The median single-parent white family has more than twice the wealth of the median Black or Latino family with two parents."

The racial wealth gap among women and families is upheld in large part by intergenerational transfers "like financing a college education, providing help with the down payment on a house and other gift to seed asset accumulation," per the DuBois Cook Center.

The bottom line: "Neither marriage, a college education nor a lifetime of work provides the answer for equalizing opportunity between black and white women." Education also makes much less difference than being white as Black Americans with Master’s degrees have about a 7% chance of becoming a millionaire compared to a 37% chance for white Americans, St. Louis Fed data show.

White Americans with a high school education have about the same likelihood of becoming a millionaire as Black Americans with a Master's degree.

Do not get me wrong. I learned a lot about business and the Interior Design field at my job, but I was ready and desperately needed a change. I also had some experience with e-Design I had worked for Laurel & Wolf for a short period of time and really took an interest in the process and how to work on projects remotely all around the world. My husband was aware of my desire to eventually run my own business and after months of complaining and going over the finances he told me that I could finally my pursue my dreams of entrepreneurship and running my own Interior Design business. I had already begun the process 2 years ago and had completed a few projects here and there but 2020 was it. It was going to be my year! Boy what a year it was. It is now 2021 and although there is a pandemic going on I am still pushing forth with my dreams. Everyone is at home now and getting the opportunity to reevaluate their living spaces. I can offer a more affordable approach to Interior Design to those who would not necessarily think that they can afford an Interior Designer.

Only time will tell, and I am ready to invest in myself and my future with the talents that God has given me. I embrace all the changes happening to the world right now and everything happening in my life. I am embracing my journey with God and making the best of this time.

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